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Last week I had the easiest pick up and lay in my life, and it all started
with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice
and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual body language), "Hey."
She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting.
My follow-up was simply, "Do you know where the smoothie place is? I'm
in the mood for a smoothie."
After that, she kept the conversation going. Simple, right?
Here was the key: I always made sure that she was reacting to me more than
I was reacting to her.
When I first started speaking to her, I frankly couldn't care less about what
she thought of me.
My mindset was, "I'm just going through my day. But hey, if some hot chick
wants to earn my attention, that's cool. If not, I'm going to enjoy my day just
the same."
I've coached a lot of guys, and the mistake I most often see a guy make when
he opens a conversation with a girl is that he tries to get a response from
her.
Maybe he tries too hard to make her laugh. Or he starts asking her weird questions
that he shouldn't be interested in when speaking to a total stranger (e.g.,
"What's you major?" or "How has your day been today?")
This sets her up with a higher value than him.
You see, whenever you set a girl up with a higher value than you (like when
you're trying to win her approval), this causes her to lose attraction for you.
In every conversation, there is always one person who is reacting more than
the other. The person who reacts less (i.e., is the more relaxed of the two)
is the more dominant, or alpha, person.
The person trying to win the other's approval is the one who's more attracted.
So a girl will struggle to make small talk and keep the conversation going as
long as your value is higher than hers.
Women are attracted to men who are a challenge for them. If at some point it
becomes clear that you're trying to win her approval, then there's no longer
a challenge for her and she loses interest.
Keep the alpha status and stay in control of the situation right from the beginning.
Make sure to not ever react too much to what a girl says. Always remain more
relaxed than her.
So the answer to the best way to begin a conversation with a woman is this:
Don't try. Don't care what she thinks. Just say whatever you want.
posted on August 29, 2010 by Oil in Tiny Tits Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one of the quickest non-verbal
ways to destroy the attraction that a woman feels for you, because the wrong
hand movements can communicate that you are a low-status, beta male.
To make matters worse, your hands can be particularly tough to manage because,
let's face it, when you feel nervous, the hardest thing in the world is figuring
out what to do with your hands!
For success with your dating and seduction of women, make sure you don't make
the following body language mistakes with your hands.
MISTAKE ONE. Displaying your anxiety with your hands.
You do this when you:
1) Shred napkins.
2) Make your hands into fists.
3) Sit on your hands.
4) Hold something and play with it.
5) Twiddle your fingers or thumbs.
6) Hold your hands unnaturally still.
7) Sit on your hands to avoid having the woman see them tremble.
Although you might be feeling nervous, the last thing you want to do is to
let the woman detect you feel that way.
Instead you want to convey that you're calm and in control. Nothing attracts
a woman more than a man who's laid back and confident.
MISTAKE TWO. Putting your fingers into your mouth.
When you bite your nails or otherwise chew on your fingers, you are, according
to psychologists, doing the same thing that infants are doing when they suck
their mother's breast.
For a baby, breast feeding provides comfort. When we became toddlers, our thumbs
replaced our mom's nipple.
And then as adults, biting our thumbnail does the same thing. Ever noticed
that when you're out in public, you mainly bite your nails when you're under
pressure?
THE SOLUTION. Just hold your hands relaxed on the table.
Rest your forearms on the table, keeping your arms open and letting them drop
forward.
Keep your hands and arms open and relaxed. Most of the time this means having
them about 18 inches or half a meter apart, your palms facing each other, with
fingers curved slightly upward.
As your palms face each other, they should also face the woman. Open palms
convey honesty and being completely comfortable with yourself. Having the back
of your hands facing her can often convey that you're hiding something.
Demonstrating your confidence can be as easy as that! Stop twiddling your thumbs
and watch the women flock to you.
posted on August 14, 2010 by Oil in Tiny Tits We've all had that special woman in our lives. You know... the one with the
sweet personality, the really nice hair and a perfect face.
She dates the more "adept" guys... but how can you get her to like
you?
While men are primarily attracted to women based on their looks, a woman finds
a man attractive because of his personality. A ideal man is an alpha male who's
confident in himself and not afraid to take the lead to get what he wants out
of life.
Ironically, what this means is that the best way for a girl to like you is
when she feels like she has EARNED you.
That's because to get a girl to like you, you should come from a mindset of
high value. Never come from a position of neediness.
So the best attitudes to have towards any one particular woman are:
1. Nonchalance.
2. Non-attachment to whether she likes you or not. (By that I mean, if she
likes you that's awesome, but if not, there are tons of other chicks out there
who are equally as great as she is.)
The bottom line is that a woman should never be a challenge for you. Instead
you should be a challenge for her.
In addition to placing a high value on yourself, you can also eliminate neediness
by building up your social network. Make friends with as many women as you can.
(Women are easy to make friends with.)
Also date as many women as you can... don't restrict yourself to dating only
"that one special girl."
You see, the last thing you ever want to have going through your mind when
you're around that special woman is, "God, I MUST have this girl! She's
irreplaceable!" Having an abundance of women in your life will solve that
problem.
Also, whenever a woman sees that other chicks are attracted to a guy, she too
feels attraction. Psychologically, this is known as the "social proof"
phenomenon... and it's much more powerful in women than men.
Ever noticed how your female friends drool over the guy at the corner of the
bar who's got four babes at his table? That's social proof in action.
By the way, it's fine to think a girl is beautiful and to have powerful feelings
for her.
Here's the key though... you must always remind yourself that there are LOTS
of other women out there who are just as wonderful as she is.
If you start thinking that any girl is one of a kind, then that gives her power
over you, and, ironically, makes her lose attraction to you.
So, you're free to think that a woman's amazing. Just remember that lots of
other girls are amazing too. That way you won't become needy.
So remember, place a high value on yourself, make her earn your attention,
and hang out with as many women as possible... those are the three secrets for
how to get a girl to like you.
posted on August 04, 2010 by Oil in Tiny Tits Let me mention a few names and you can tell me what they all have in common:
- Al Pacino
- Humphrey Bogart
- Napoleon
Okay, no surprise here... they're all short guys. But you know what? They were
all awesome with the ladies (and not just because of their celebrity status...
they were all players before they became famous.)
In fact, the reason they could attract girls was because of their strong inner
attitude.
There are a couple things you can do in the short term. Wearing boots right
now will subtly add 2 or 3 inches to your height.
Also, when you dress, wear vertical stripes and tight clothes. That will make
you look SLENDER, which will make you appear taller.
Long term, one way short guys can be more dominant physically is to work out.
In fact that really should be first and foremost. If you've got muscles, it
helps A LOT, not only with your physical appearance, but also with your confidence
levels, strong inner attitude, and poise. So get in the gym.
When you're muscular and you're a short guy, you become like a pit bull. And
by the way, I'd like you to experiment with that.. do not always be the nice
guy who's polite. For the next few months, try to let your "inner badass"
come out a bit when you're with girls.
Do the affirmation, "I'm becoming like the pitbull who can dominate the
bigger dogs."
Once you start feeling more and more confident in a few weeks, change your
affirmation to, "I AM like the pitbull who can dominate bigger dogs."
I've noticed that a lot of short guys develop a VERY strong presence by having
cultivated that inner badass.
Now, I'm not saying you should become a jerk... but just try to balance out
that inner nice guy.
Next thing to do long term is to GIVE UP any approval-seeking. Who cares what
women think of you? Go through life doing what you want and being who you are.
(That is so key by the way... those guys I list above were players exactly because
they went through life doing what they wanted and being true to who they were.)
You see, short guys who are badasses really have a bit of an advantage. Because
of their stature, they automatically are able to have more rapport with chicks
(who tend to be short themselves) than the guys who are beanpoles. And when
you add to that a bit of a "badboy" element, it makes chicks dripping
wet with attraction.
The bottom line is this: only if YOU feel uncomfortable with your height will
it affect you with the girls. If you feel completely comfortable with your height,
then they will too.
By the way, when it comes to tall guys, what women find attractive about them
isn't their height. It's their dominance. If you have a tight sense of inner
confidence, and project a personality that sucks them in, height will be the
furthest thing from their minds.
So to sum up, be true to yourself, take risks in life, cultivate your inner
badass, and stop caring about anyone's approval. And hit the gym ASAP. And do
the fashion things I said.
Then you'll attract girls without worrying about irrelevant things like height.
posted on July 27, 2010 by Oil in Tiny Tits Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our
woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of
a sudden lost our confidence. This results in being without sex for many months,
until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats.
So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.
You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy)
and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha
male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini."
Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course
not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't
even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you
want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you.
So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your
girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever
treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward.
If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing
your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something
you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your
time, talking about her feelings, etc.
So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her.
And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment
and Reward.
Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a
challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer
feel like they need put out effort to win your affections.
Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to
take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge.
So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships
is threefold:
1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend.
Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does.
On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your
time when she acts sweet.
2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship
at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle
implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship
and will keep working to win you.
3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested
in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example)
you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling
you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack.